Darren M. Meade, the Reticular activating system, Part 2 of 4
Part 2 of 4 -
I have people become aware. Because once you wake up, you might go to sleep for awhile, but you’ll never be asleep again because your brain knows to look for it. It’s like — I don’t know if you’ve ever bought an outfit or a car or something and all of a sudden you see that outfit or car everywhere. It’s a part of your brain that’s called the reticular activating system, the RAS, and it tells your brain what to notice. Once you set a goal, once you become aware of something, it becomes part of your consciousness.
So that’s what I try to do, I try to wake people up. You can do something as simple as a seven day mental diet, and you say here’s what we’re going to do for seven days: I’m going to become aware of my patterns — not from the standpoint of trying to be a positive person, but to understand that if I go into negative states on a regular basis — when you’re in negative state you don’t treat people better, you treat them worse. When you’re in a negative state, you don’t optimize your ability at work or your creativity or your business or your sport or whatever it is you’re involved with, or as a parent. You just don’t. And you sure as hell don’t enjoy your life.
So as a thought process or a discipline in mental strength and mental happiness and a sense of empowerment, I say to people, take seven days and all I want you to do is very simple. Seven straight days where you catch yourself with anything you’re saying that is derogatory, negative, about the future or about yourself or about another human being. So all you’ve got to do is very simple. You catch yourself and you just go erase. Catch yourself and say erase — but you’ve got to go seven straight days where you don’t have to say erase. Well, for most people, this is a month long process [laughs], because they have no idea how much negativity they state about the future, or they state about themselves, or they state about other people.
And you make them right write it down and you’ll start to see a pattern. You write it down, you erase, no more, right? And you keep a little journal doing this and again, most people they’ll start going and they might even get through half a day, a quarter of a day and all of a sudden they’ll have this regurgitation of shit that comes out of their head. And that little discipline will remind you, it will just make you so aware of how many unconscious thoughts you have each day. And then it’s not about beating yourself up, it’s about saying, ‘Wow. This isn’t me. This is the automatic part of my brain that undisciplined it will just throw out trash.’ You know, weeds grow automatically. You don’t have to plant weeds. I look at people’s lives and you see what’s not working in their lives and it usually comes from an undisciplined mind.
There are so many different things we are educated about, yet this is something that is completely not taught to us as children — to be aware of our thoughts and how that affects us. I only learned about this myself, later in life, through the practice of meditation and still, sometimes when I wake up in the middle of the night and my brain starts going off on the things I have to do or I’m worrying about.
Number one — I’ll tell you tools second — but let me tell you the number one piece. Whenever you have something that’s a mission that’s larger than yourself, whether it be your children, whether it be a business, whether it be a non-profit focus — I don’t care what it is. Something that is your life’s passion, that is more than just you, you will find that you’re not going to have a whole lot of time inside your consciousness for negativity. I believe that life supports what supports more of life.
In other words, motivation does matter. If you’re just trying to take care of yourself, you’re part of life and I believe life steps in and gives you a certain level of insight. If you’re trying to serve something larger then yourself — your family — It grows you geometrically. If you’re trying to take care of a whole community, you have to have a different level of insight, because your motivation is to truly serve something much larger than yourself and then those things come true. If you’re trying to serve humanity, I think you need even greater insight.
So I think number one is if you get outside yourself, you’re going to find yourself having a lot less of these limiting thoughts because your purpose is to serve something. As long as we’re within ourselves, we have challenges. Because that’s just the nature of the human mind. That’s why meditating is a wonderful experience, but why it’s so difficult for people. What’s actually to me a more powerful meditation — and I still meditate as well — is that sense of service where everything else disappears. You’re not worried about your thoughts. You’re not fighting and trying not to think of anything else. You’re moving towards something. Living life on a purpose is the greatest gift you can find for yourself. But how do you do it on a day to day basis? You ask better questions. Questions control focus. So if I say to you, tell me dear reader, what’s something in your life right now that you’re really proud of? When you look back on your life in the last few years or over your whole life, what’s something that stands out for you that you could be really proud of, that you do feel proud about?
I have people become aware. Because once you wake up, you might go to sleep for awhile, but you’ll never be asleep again because your brain knows to look for it. It’s like — I don’t know if you’ve ever bought an outfit or a car or something and all of a sudden you see that outfit or car everywhere. It’s a part of your brain that’s called the reticular activating system, the RAS, and it tells your brain what to notice. Once you set a goal, once you become aware of something, it becomes part of your consciousness.
So that’s what I try to do, I try to wake people up. You can do something as simple as a seven day mental diet, and you say here’s what we’re going to do for seven days: I’m going to become aware of my patterns — not from the standpoint of trying to be a positive person, but to understand that if I go into negative states on a regular basis — when you’re in negative state you don’t treat people better, you treat them worse. When you’re in a negative state, you don’t optimize your ability at work or your creativity or your business or your sport or whatever it is you’re involved with, or as a parent. You just don’t. And you sure as hell don’t enjoy your life.
So as a thought process or a discipline in mental strength and mental happiness and a sense of empowerment, I say to people, take seven days and all I want you to do is very simple. Seven straight days where you catch yourself with anything you’re saying that is derogatory, negative, about the future or about yourself or about another human being. So all you’ve got to do is very simple. You catch yourself and you just go erase. Catch yourself and say erase — but you’ve got to go seven straight days where you don’t have to say erase. Well, for most people, this is a month long process [laughs], because they have no idea how much negativity they state about the future, or they state about themselves, or they state about other people.
And you make them right write it down and you’ll start to see a pattern. You write it down, you erase, no more, right? And you keep a little journal doing this and again, most people they’ll start going and they might even get through half a day, a quarter of a day and all of a sudden they’ll have this regurgitation of shit that comes out of their head. And that little discipline will remind you, it will just make you so aware of how many unconscious thoughts you have each day. And then it’s not about beating yourself up, it’s about saying, ‘Wow. This isn’t me. This is the automatic part of my brain that undisciplined it will just throw out trash.’ You know, weeds grow automatically. You don’t have to plant weeds. I look at people’s lives and you see what’s not working in their lives and it usually comes from an undisciplined mind.
There are so many different things we are educated about, yet this is something that is completely not taught to us as children — to be aware of our thoughts and how that affects us. I only learned about this myself, later in life, through the practice of meditation and still, sometimes when I wake up in the middle of the night and my brain starts going off on the things I have to do or I’m worrying about.
Number one — I’ll tell you tools second — but let me tell you the number one piece. Whenever you have something that’s a mission that’s larger than yourself, whether it be your children, whether it be a business, whether it be a non-profit focus — I don’t care what it is. Something that is your life’s passion, that is more than just you, you will find that you’re not going to have a whole lot of time inside your consciousness for negativity. I believe that life supports what supports more of life.
In other words, motivation does matter. If you’re just trying to take care of yourself, you’re part of life and I believe life steps in and gives you a certain level of insight. If you’re trying to serve something larger then yourself — your family — It grows you geometrically. If you’re trying to take care of a whole community, you have to have a different level of insight, because your motivation is to truly serve something much larger than yourself and then those things come true. If you’re trying to serve humanity, I think you need even greater insight.
So I think number one is if you get outside yourself, you’re going to find yourself having a lot less of these limiting thoughts because your purpose is to serve something. As long as we’re within ourselves, we have challenges. Because that’s just the nature of the human mind. That’s why meditating is a wonderful experience, but why it’s so difficult for people. What’s actually to me a more powerful meditation — and I still meditate as well — is that sense of service where everything else disappears. You’re not worried about your thoughts. You’re not fighting and trying not to think of anything else. You’re moving towards something. Living life on a purpose is the greatest gift you can find for yourself. But how do you do it on a day to day basis? You ask better questions. Questions control focus. So if I say to you, tell me dear reader, what’s something in your life right now that you’re really proud of? When you look back on your life in the last few years or over your whole life, what’s something that stands out for you that you could be really proud of, that you do feel proud about?
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